A Spiritual Approach to Dating


Dating….it can be one of the most exhilarating experiences,  or a nightmare! It is so much different in today’s world. We no longer need to go out to meet people. We can just sit home in our pj’s and surf the net. Facebook friends,  dating websites,  and match makers are right at your fingertips.

I am married now, but I’ve been on my fair share of dates in the past. I can’t really say it was always a pleasurable experience.  I found it challenging to find someone who fit my criteria for a potential mate. As I’ve evolved through personal and spiritual development,  I’ve learned some things that really would have been instrumental in helping to streamline the process and make it more pleasant.

Here’s how to take a spiritual approach to dating:

First, it is important to know exactly what you are looking for in a relationship. Get very clear about what qualities you are seeking in a mate. Are you looking for a serious or casual relationship, is there a certain physical appearance you prefer, how important are finances to you, do you want kids, are you ready for commitment?  If you don’t know exactly what you are looking for, how do you expect to find him or her. Clarity is everything.

Secondly, embody the characteristics that you wish to have in a partner. Make sure that you are not having an expectation in someone else that you can’t live up to yourself. I once saw a quote that read, “Far too many people are looking for the right person instead of becoming the right person.” The more you focus on improving yourself, the more likely you are to attract a compatible partner.

Third, when you meet the right person, you will “know” it, especially the more in alignment you are with what you want. If the relationship seems forced in any way, if there are petty disagreements, if trust is an issue, if it just seems off…it’s not a match! Go with your intuition.  Never think you can transform someone into the man/woman of your dreams. When the relationship is right, it simply flows. All of the pieces effortlessly fall into place, and there is a deep knowing that this is the “one”.

Fourth, realize that it is very easy to get caught up in the infatuation phase of relationships. When that cools down, most people bolt because they feel that since it is no longer as exciting, it must not be the “one”. This is a complete misconception.  It truly doesn’t matter how many people you date, that initial passion will fade into something more pure and beautiful. You will have moments of reigniting the passion, but true love and devotion is the ultimate goal.

Finally,  don’t ever be looking for your “other half” or for someone to “complete” you. Realize that you are whole as an individual.  What you are searching for is another whole individual.  You must have two, complete, strong individuals who come together to create a third and more powerful union.  If one person is strong and self-assured and the other is weak and needy, this will be a source of imbalance, disharmony,  and unhappiness.  Make sure your partner is on a mission to grow and evolve with you.

Remember that dating, like anything in life, is what YOU make it. If you approach it with a positive attitude, practice patience, and remain open to all possibilities, then the right person at the right place at the right time will walk into your life!  Until then, enjoy the adventure!

KristyKristy Arantes lives in Atlanta, Georgia, and is a married mom with five beautiful daughters. She is a small business owner with a passion for mentoring others to realize their inherent greatness. She is also a writer, freelance model, classical pianst, vocalist and composer. She is currently studying at Spiritual Living Center of Atlanta and plans to pursue the path to practitioner. Her hobbies include traveling, reading, and volunteering for homeless shelters. She plans to pursue a future in humanitarian aid around the world.