How to Love and Value Yourself


Get Off the “Clearance Rack”

“If you are not being treated with love and respect, check your “price tag,” perhaps you have marked yourself down. It’s you who tell people what you’re worth by what you accept. Get off the “clearance rack” and get behind the glass where they keep the valuables. The bottom line is value yourself more.” – Unknown

Recently my twin daughters were excited to visit a college friend who relocated to Miami, Florida. As they prepared for the trip they began to share with me all the wonderful characteristics they love about her that make her one of their dearest friends. They described her as effervescent, full of life, enthusiastic, outspoken, bold and fun-loving.

When they returned from their visit I picked them up from the airport and inquired about their friend. They sighed and both expressed their surprise that she was quite different than she was in college. It turns out that she was living with her boyfriend, she was working a job that she did not enjoy and had given up on pursuing her dream of becoming a model. She was nothing like the person they once knew her to be.

They described her as overly accommodating, sacrificial, sad, unhappy and unlike herself. Based on their assessment of her she had lost her joy, even her facial expression was nothing like what they remember from college. They noticed her desperation with trying to make her live-in boyfriend happy.

It seems that their friend had placed herself on the “clearance rack.” She was discounting herself in her relationship. She was people-pleasing and disrespecting her own desires and wishes. She was giving away her power on a silver platter.

Sometimes we are all guilty of giving away our power whether it be to a family member, friend, neighbor, co-worker, client or someone we just met. The interesting thing is that we do so gladly until we have no more to give and then our gladness turns to sorrow, resentment, anger and feelings of betrayal. And when it’s done over long periods of time our bodies may communicate messages to us to help us stop de-valuing ourselves. And, if we do not heed the messages, giving away our power can turn to dis-ease – stroke, heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.

Self-love, self-approval and self-appreciation is paramount. Self-value begins within. It is imperative that we begin with ourselves. It is important to be your own top priority and everything flows out of our alignment with our selves. When we honor who we are we activate your connection with the divine flow of life, however when we put the needs of others before yourself it is a sure-fire way to unhappiness and pain. When we cannot see our own value, the world doesn’t value us back. Simply put, what we are to ourselves gets reflected back to us.

We cannot serve 2 masters. We must choose between the fire in our belly or the idea of our unworthiness. So, what’s it gonna be?

Perhaps it’s not someone else who is devaluing you; it could be you devaluing yourself. Sometimes we place ourselves on the “clearance rack” when we are closed off from receiving value. What do I mean by being closed off from receiving value? When was the last time someone offered to pay for your cup of coffee or tea and you refused? When was the last time someone complimented you on something you were wearing and you deflected it? When was the last time someone expressed appreciation for something you did and you depreciated your value by diffusing it? Some of us say no to others who want to value us. Make a decision today to open yourself to receive value, love and appreciation.

Creating more value in your life, starts with you valuing yourself first.

• For the next 21 days, list 3 specific things you value about yourself; find 3 new things to list each day.
• Say Thank You! The next time someone offers you a compliment, take a deep breath and simply smile and say thank you.
• Become your own best friend. Give yourself the attention you would give a dear friend by doing things for yourself that have meaning to you, like buying yourself fresh flowers, taking a nice hot bath, visiting the museum, the symphony or the theatre. Take an art class or a dance class you’ve been thinking of taking.
• Value Others. Offer at least 3 people a sincere compliment every day.
• Say No. Say no to at least one person who asks you to do something for them that you do not want to do.

On your journey of self- discovery it is about loving and valuing yourself and diving deeper into your relationship with the amazing person who is YOU, in order to create a life that honors you and the desires of your heart.

Greta Counts HeadshotGreta Counts is a New Thought Practitioner, Licensed Spiritual Life Coach, Certified Heal Your Life Teacher, Personal Development Trainer, Sales Coach and Transformational Speaker. Learn more about her work at

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